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Here is a prayer that I wrote out to God last week:

Nov. 28, 2020

My King,

I’m back, I’m here. I’m emotionally sober. My eyes are closed, my faith is wide open. I’m sorry I left. Create in me a clean heart, and clean thoughts, O God. I’m back. Here I am. My God is not to be mocked, my God is not timid, my God is not weak. Therefore I am not timid, I am not weak. I can do all things through my Lord and my God, my Savior, my Rock, my Protector, Jesus, the Christ, who strengthens me. Abba, I’m here. I’m back. I’m right back with You. I bless You. I praise You because you are more than worthy to be praised. You are my God. I set my hope on You. I love You. I’m here.

Listen y'all, words cannot even express how rough the last 2 weeks were for me. If you read my last blog post, you got a little glimpse into what I was going through. You see, I’ve preached Mark 4:35-41 (Jesus calms the Sea) before, but after having gone through a storm, my perspective is completely different. You don't know how strong (or how weak) your faith really is until you actually encounter a storm. But there is a blessing in that. It was only after I encountered that storm that God showed me that while I was able to preach the word, I didn't fully believe the word. Storms are never fun. Still, if I could go back, I wouldn't change a thing. I know that God wanted to build endurance, longsuffering, and the ability to surrender EVERYTHING to Him, KNOWING that in due time, He would calm the wind and the sea. Storms are not God’s way of punishing you, but God’s way of shaping you. During that storm, I found out what it truly means for God to be right there with you in the midst of the fiery furnace.

When you’ve been minding your business, living for the Lord, being obedient to Him, crucifying your flesh daily, spending time with Him DAILY, and in spite of this, a storm STILL comes your way, don't think that the Lord has forsaken you. It’s quite the contrary. Remember that your thoughts are not His thoughts nor are your ways His ways. For His throughs and His ways are far beyond your own. We may not know why everything seems to be going amuck, but fall asleep in that stern as Jesus did. TRUST HIM. I know it's hard, but decide to trust Him anyway. Proclaim it out loud until you really believe it. “I will trust the Lord anyway.” Say it with your chest so the enemy knows you mean business. With authority, profess it outloud.

I’m not promising you that you will never encounter a storm, but what I am telling you is that He is right there in the storm with you. This is someting that for a short time, I had forgotten. But I am back! My brothers and sisters, God never moved. He is right there with you in the storm. Return to Him so He can renew your strength.

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