Mark 4:35-41 On the same day, when evening had come, He said to them, “Let us cross over to the other side.” Now when they had left the multitude, they took Him along in the boat as He was. And other little boats were also with Him. And a great windstorm arose, and the waves beat into the boat, so that it was already filling. But He was in the stern, asleep on a pillow. And they awoke Him and said to Him, “Teacher, do You not care that we are perishing?” Then He arose and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Peace, be still!” And the wind ceased and there was a great calm. But He said to them, “Why are you so fearful? How is it that you have no faith?” And they feared exceedingly and said to one another, “Who can this be, that even the wind and the sea obey Him!”
Y'all, these past 2 weeks have been the most trying times I have ever had to endure in my entire 27 years of life. Really, these past few months have been overwhelming in one way or another, but I cannot say that I have endured a storm like this one before. Now, after the first few trials, I got back up, dusted myself off, and continued to be joyful in the Lord. “Alexis, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith, produces patience,” the Holy Spirit uttered into my spirit. But the enemy saw that he could not shake me the way that he used to, so he began to resort to other means of accomplishing his purpose. Thus, he began hitting me with low blow, after low blow. I was down, and trying with everything in me to get back up. Nevertheless, I could not muster the strength to fight back tears that did not precede feelings of defeat. I began to desperately plead with God, saying, “Father, I am doing what You have told me to do, I am moving the way You have told me to move, I am acknowledging You in all my ways, yet, I cannot seem to catch a break.” My, “count it all joy,” mindset, turned into “God, I just need a win,” and, “God, if I did anything to cause this storm, please forgive me, remember my sins no more, and rebuke the wind and the sea for me.” Shortly after this, guilt planted itself on the forefront of my mind. I began focusing on all of the things I had done wrong, while saying, “Alexis, this is what you deserve. You did this (whatever the ‘this’ is)." Exhausted is not even the word to describe how I was, and am currently feeling. Yes, even now, as I pour out my thoughts and feelings into this blog post, I still have yet to receive a breakthrough. However, what I have received is what I call a reminder from God:
“My daughter, I never left you. I am right here. You know that. A little while longer. I will give you your desires. Wait on Me. I am here. Focus on Me.”
My eyes were wide open, while my faith was somewhere slumped, as if my physical sight was the substance of things hoped for, and the evidence of things not seen; as if I am to walk by sight, and not by faith. Yes, I am exhausted, maybe even hard pressed on every side, yet God is still God. He is still faithful. His promises are still yes and amen. His word will never return void, but will accomplish what He pleases. My brothers and sisters in Christ, when God says to you, "Let us cross over to the other side," in spite of the storm, remember that not only is He with you, but there is a destination; a purpose. So, rest. Imitate King Jesus, as He slept in the stern on a pillow (yes, asleep on a whole pillow), in the middle of a storm. Rest in Him. Yes I know that the wind and the sea are boisterous before you, but God. That’s it! But GOD. I could end this blog post right here, but I won't.
I will never take it upon myself to promise you all that in this world you will never experience hardship, trials, and tribulations. Jesus Himself told us the exact opposite (John 16:33 “In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”)
Your breakthrough may not have come yet, your prayer may not have been answered yet, but never mistake God’s perfect timing as Him ignoring your prayers. He hears you. He is not a God that is afar off, but a God that is near at hand. I am physically and emotionally exhausted, nevertheless, God will hear my voice continually. From sunrise to sunset, God will smell the sweet aroma of my praises because He is WORTHY.
Abba, my Lord and My God, I bless You. I pray that you continue to draw me closer and closer to You. Walk me through all the storms that I need to be walked through that You may build me up by breaking down all things that are not of You, but are in me. Use me. I surrender everything to You. I am in high expectation of You because You are an awesome God. I do not serve a week, and timid God. But my God is mighty, therefore, I am mighty in Him.
Don’t lose heart. Fight the good fight. Remember the 3 Hebrew boys.
The storm is crazy. I know. But when the storm is over, you will know that even the wind and the sea obey Him. Believe it.
I love you all.
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